Vector's Quest
by Donjusticia
Summary: Happy Birthday Nox Descious!


**DISCLAIMER!**

 **THE FOLLOWING IS A STUPID BIRTHDAY PRESENT ONE-SHOT FOR NOX DESCIOUS, WHICH DONJUSTICIA PUT ABSOLUTELY NO THOUGHT OR EFFORT INTO CREATING. HECK, HE DIDN'T EVEN DRAFT AN OUTLINE OF THIS THING! ENJOY IT ANYWAY!**

Vector's Quest

Of all the Barian Emperors who ever lorded over the Barian world in Don Thousand's absence, none came even close to the greatness that was Vector! Known throughout the multiverse as the epitome of perfection, awesomeness, manliness, and invincibility, nobody could hope to measure up to him. Everywhere he went, fan-girls thronged the strong, sexy, hunky, and manly Vector, but despite the amorous passion of all these fan-girls, none adored Vector as amorously as the otherwise unimpressive Barian Queen, Merag.

"Oh Vector!" Merag swooned, as the absolutely flawless object of her affection passed by the balcony of her palace, soaring through the air on his absolutely fantastic bejeweled Barian wings. "I love you SO much! But alas! How can I ever hope to confess my amorous feelings for you when I could never hope to measure up to someone as absolutely flawless as you are!?"

"Did I just hear someone struggling to confess their love to me?" Vector asked, swooping into Merag's room before sticking the landing with utter perfection.

"Oh Vector!" Merag sighed, dramatically fainting before being caught by Vector as he saved her from her fall with his strong, burly, manly arms.

"Merag," Vector sighed as he pulled Merag close, "I know you cannot control your passionate feelings for me, with me being as utterly flawless and perfect as I am. But you must know that we cannot be together yet, not when I still must perform my duty by single-handedly saving the Barian world from the threat of Astral, Yuma, and even more important, your absolutely idiotic and evil older brother, Nasch."

"Vector…" Merag sighed, burying her face in his absolutely manly and flawless chest, "do you love me as much as I love you?"

"Yes, Merag." Vector admitted. "Despite the fact that you are one of the absolutely greatest idiotic ditz in the entire Barian World, and the sister of one of my greatest enemies, I consider you to have just enough redeeming qualities to consider you a barely adequate consort for me."

"Oh Vector!" Merag swooned again.

"Yes, Merag." Vector sighed, slowly caressing Merag's back. "Once my flawless and brilliant plan is complete and I single-handedly save our world with my unrivaled powers, I shall condescend to marry you and fulfill your wildest dreams of becoming an eternal companion to the one and only supremely perfect king of all the universe, Vector."

"Oh Vector!" Merag sighed with pure joy, before dramatically placing the back of her hand on her forehead in a gesture of despair. "But alas!" she mourned, "My utterly cruel, stupid, evil, and ugly older brother, Nasch, has other plans for me! Against my will, he intends to marry me off to his incompetent, nerdy, hideous, and brain-dead right-hand Barian man, Derp!"

"Derp!?" Vector cried out with righteous indignation.

"Duh…yep!" The hideously ugly, nerdy, incompetent, and brain-dead gray Barian Emperor, Derp, chuckled, stumbling into the room on his wobbly, uncoordinated legs before being followed by the cruel, evil, stupid, and ugly older brother of Merag, Emperor Nasch.

"That's right, Vector!" Nasch laughed. "I knew I could never compete with how utterly perfect you are, so I decided to get to you by marrying off your slight love interest to literally the lamest Barian in the entire universe!"

"Dat's me!" Derp guffawed, barely managing to stay on his two feet as he stumbled around Merag's room like a drunkard.

"How could you, Nasch!?" Vector growled, "Is this all because you're jealous of my absolutely flawless perfection?"

"Yes!" Nasch angrily admitted, "But soon I shall have my revenge! Merag is about to be married to Derp, and there's nothing even someone as absolutely brilliant and perfect as you can do about it!"

"We'll see about that!" the almighty, perfect, flawless, hunky, sexy, intelligent, caring, sensitive, epic, awesome, and manly Vector countered, using his unparalleled powers to create an amazing RPG-sized sword from thin air.

"Protect me, Derp!" Nasch bawled, running and hiding behind a chair like the pathetically stupid coward he was.

"Duuh…you're dead, Vector!" Derp burped, using what little power he had to barely conjure a tiny butter knife into his left hand.

"Be careful, Vector my love!" Merag warned, making sure to safely hide behind Vector's impressive manly physic like the damsel in distress she was.

"Don't worry, Merag." Vector gently reassured his weak-willed eye-candy. "I shall defeat both Derp and your evil older brother with my superior skill and power! FOR I AM VECTOR! GREATEST SINGLE ENTITY IN THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE!"

"Oh Vector!" Merag sighed, watching as the manly and flawless hero of her dreams effortlessly defeated the stupid and lame Derp before dispatching the evil and cruel Nasch.

"Now yield to me, stupid enemies who aren't even worthy to stand in my presence!" Vector ordered.

"Yes supreme emperor!" Derp and Nasch groveled, licking Vector's boots as they prostrated themselves before him. "PLEASE DON'T HURT US!"

"Very well then." Vector sighed. "Being a merciful being, in addition to my other utterly perfect qualities, I shall allow the two of you to live on as my personal slaves while I rule the universe."

"Yay!" Derp and Nasch cheered, happy that they could be slaves to such a superior being as Vector.

"Oh Supreme Emperor Vector!" Merag swooned, throwing herself into Vector's big, strong, and manly arms.

"Yes, Merag." Vector replied, "I am indeed Supreme Emperor now. And because I am such a generous and perfect being, I have decided to make you my unworthy queen."

"Oh Vector!" Merag sighed, overjoyed that a totally worthless side character like herself could get paired with such a magnificently perfect person.

And thus, defeating the stupid and evil Nasch before marrying his sister, Merag, Vector went on to defeat Yuma Tsukumo and Astral, gather all the numbers together, find the Numeron Code, annihilate Don Thousand and Eliphas, and become God.

…

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand…PUBLISH!" Said Ray Shingetsu as he completed his latest fanfic all about himself. Cracking the neck of his human disguise, Ray sat back in his chair and waited for the positive reviews for his magnificent work to come flooding in.

That's when Yuma showed up at his door.

"Hey Shingetsu!" Yuma called to his absolute bestest buddy ever in the whole universe who could never possibly betray him and who also apparently happened to use Barian cards, which Yuma didn't talk with Astral about because it was all a secret, hush, hush!

"Hey Yuma-Kun!" Ray enthused, running up to give his bestest buddy ever in the whole universe who he totally intended to betray after he completed his convoluted plan to let Yuma defeat a clone of himself before he captured himself with said clone of himself before rocketing off into space to await Yuma in a rigged duel field where the very same clone of himself would duel Yuma before he himself would replace the clone of himself and defeat Yuma…himself. "How's my bestest buddy who I'm totally not gonna betray doing? You still keeping those V cards in your deck like I told you to?"

"You bet!" Yuma laughed. "And I've made sure to keep Astral completely in the dark about your secret identity as a 'Barian Police Officer,' or whatever bogus story it was you told me."

"Great!" Vector/Ray laughed. "I'm so glad I can count on you to be my sap…I mean…friend."

"What are you writing there, by the way?" Yuma asked, Ray's last comment completely going over his head.

"Oh this?" Ray shrugged. "It's just a…hobby I like to do in my spare time. Wanna read it?"

"Sure." Yuma shrugged, pulling up a chair to read through Ray's work.

"Well…what do you think?" Ray asked as Yuma finished.

"Uhm…" Yuma slowly began, a confused expression coming over his face, "I'm…I'm not sure I get this."

"What's not to get!?" Ray snapped, looking visibly annoyed.

"It's just that…well…I don't get this Vector guy." Yuma admitted. "He's so…un-relatable…and then you just have him beating me and becoming god at the end? It felt kind of…anticlimactic…unrealistic?"

"Well…you've got to insert some speculation into the story whenever you write a fanfic." Ray explained, "And I figured, if there were any Barian emperor who could totally defeat you and Astral and rule the universe, it would definitely be Vector."

"What about that one Barian Emperor that nearly beat both myself and Kaito in that one duel?" Yuma asked.

"Yeah, I plan on writing a short epilogue afterwards that shows Vector totally punching Mizael and his stupid dragon card in the face." Ray admitted.

"Well…like I said…I'm still iffy in this one. I mean…it was okay…but I didn't really…like it?" Yuma admitted.

"Oh whatever." Ray huffed, shoving Yuma out of the room. "I'll bet my other readers will LOVE it!"

"You have other readers?" Yuma asked before he could stop himself.

"YEAH!" Ray indignantly replied, "I've got LOTS of readers who read my fanfics! And look! The reviews are already pouring in as I speak!"

Quickly, Ray ran to his computer and began reading the following:

 **Ragnazero103 chapter 1 . 8m ago**

WHAT THE HECK!? WHAT IS THIS TRASH!? WHY ARE MERAG'S ONLY LINES "OH VECTOR!?" AND WHY THE CRAP IS SHE ATTRACTED TO THAT IDIOT AT ALL!?

 **FairyCheerGirl96 chapter 1 . 7m ago**

I thought it was good…except I'm not sure about anybody beating Yuma. I mean…he can be a bit of an idiot sometimes, but there is no way this Vector guy could beat him. Just saying.

 **CatGirlMagicianFTW chapter 1 . 5m ago**

NOTICE ME, YUMA! I CAN SEE YOU IN RAY'S ROOM RIGHT NOW! JUST LOOK OUT THE WINDOW! I'M WAVING TO YOU RIGHT NOW! DO IT! MEOW!

 **StarveVenomFusionDragon chapter 1 . 4m ago**

I liked it!

 **Bluecat69 chapter 1 . 3m ago**

Okay, this was completely amateurish. There was absolutely no plot, the main character is a total Marty Stu, and the conflict, what little there was of it, was resolved in a completely underwhelming and anti-climactic fashion. Sorry, but I'm not giving a favorite to this one.

 **SilentArk101 chapter 1 . 2m ago**

Whelp that was 5 minutes of my life I can never get back.

 **Numeronius1000 chapter 1 . 1m ago**

You know, if you're willing to make a deal with me, I could make sure EVERYONE enjoys your writing.

 **SoulManipulator43 chapter 1 . sec ago**

Ignore that guy. Agree to a deal with me, and I will make this story EPIC!

Ray frowned at the reviews while Yuma slowly and discreetly exited the room.

"I am so gonna get back at you all for this!" Ray vowed. "Just you wait, anonymous fanfic writers who I don't know the identities of! Once I finish off my other enemies, I am coming for you!"

 **Happy Birthday Nox**


End file.
